The beginning of the school year is quite stressful for many students. Some are returning to familiar places and people, while others will start a completely new chapter in their lives. We are talking about first-graders who have just started primary school. How can you support your child to ensure a good start?

LISTEN, DON'T JUDGE!

Statistics show that even one in five Polish teenagers may have mental and emotional problems. Twice as many young people complain about depressive symptoms than 10 years ago. As experts emphasize, school is a source of a lot of stress for students, and problems can start even in very young children. It is worth not to ignore the feelings of the youngest from the very beginning. This, according to psychologists, is the basis of safety. – Fear of school, especially of the first grade, is natural and appropriate, especially among children who have never attended a nursery or kindergarten – a psychologist explains Marika Auksztulewicz.  – At first, such children react by crying, very strong fear or sleep problems. However, when we start to change our approach a little, talk to our children, and at the same time take into account that they can really be afraid of something, and that these are not fantasies, then it usually works out. The main rule is simple - talk and validate the child's emotions - the specialist emphasizes. 

A POSITIVE ATTITUDE IS ESSENTIAL! 

Although the above sentence may seem trivial, there is a lot of truth in it. The way we adults approach new challenges for children, what we say about school, how we ourselves experience emotions related to the change in the life of our little daughter or son - directly affects young students and can give them a positive "kick" or deepen their fears. - I think that telling a child about yourself, when you were a child, can be a good support. Making them aware that when we were their age, we were also afraid and that it is normal that each of us went through similar stress. This usually significantly reduces the tension related to school in a young person - she notes Auksztulewicz. 

It is good to assure the child that they can ask whatever they want. Do not scare or allow older siblings or cousins to do it. It is also worth encouraging the first grader to gain knowledge, realizing that thanks to it they will become independent. Also, assure the child that even if some difficulties appear, there is always a supportive adult who will help overcome them. 

TO SCHOOL WITHOUT EXCESSIVE PRESSURE 

Good support for a first grader is not just about emotional care. It is important for the child to be aware that something important is starting, but not to be subjected to unnecessary pressure.

 – Important. We should take care not to, colloquially speaking, pressure a first-grader, not to make him think that he has to, that he should, that there are some requirements, that now it's a new life, a new world, because that increases fear – psychologist Marika Auksztulewicz emphasizes. This process should be natural and “relaxed.” Allowing a young person to be themselves is the basis for their sense of security in a new situation. 

– It is also about the child not having to be smiling all the time, it is nice for everyone that he can be a little bit on the side sometimes – explains the expert. She also notes that taking care of the child's comfort should go hand in hand with preparing them for their new role, responsibilities and challenges. 

SCHOOL – BETWEEN LEARNING AND FUN

School is initially about learning to write, read and count. In order for a child to cope with their lessons, it is necessary to strengthen their sense of responsibility and arouse curiosity. However, it is also worth remembering that seven-year-olds are not able to concentrate on one task for a long time. It is therefore good to combine homework with play or organize breaks from time to time, e.g. for a short walk or a game of football. 

– School is a place where a child should learn, not be the best at everything. – Marika Auksztulewicz recalls. – Parents’ expectations should therefore go hand in hand with their abilities. It may also be worth considering whether, in addition to school classes, additional classes in horse riding, chess, swimming and a foreign language are good for a young person, and whether we would like to live like that ourselves – concludes the expert. 

Too much pressure, too many responsibilities, no time to talk, emotional indifference and problems in relationships with peers are the most common causes of mental disorders in school-age children. They can be prevented by being attentive to the child and reacting in time. How to do it and what to pay attention to? What early symptoms should worry you, where and when to seek specialist support? We will answer these and other questions in the next episodes of the new series, podcasts WHAT DOES YOUR DOCTOR SAY?, about the psychological problems of children and youth. Premiere episodes on successive Wednesdays in September. We invite you to listen!